Top 5 Sexiest Male Characters

A good friend once said regarding Top 5, "Eventually, though, you're going to run out of this kind of fodder and have to write about movies that REAL girls watch". What am I if I am not a real girl? As proof that I do like rippling muscles, here we go ladies. This is for you...


5- Peter (Adrien Brody)- Darjeeling Limited:
I want to cover different varieties of what we find appealing, because it isn't always about rock-hard abs and great hair. In fact, for women, it rarely is.
Adrien Brody is not physical perfection. He has an unusual look, but what fascinates women isn't always appearance. As women we admire depth of character. We esteem hidden sensitivity because of its rarity. The humility and sadness in Peter (Brody) combined with his extreme ability to love takes him from sappy to sexy. There is a scene where he is standing with his brothers (played by Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman) in their train compartment wearing nothing but a pair of old sunglasses and white boxers. The prescription sunglasses he is wearing belonged to his father who had passed away one year earlier. He kept them just to have a little piece of his father with him. I hate to admit it, but ladies like a sentimental man. That scene made me fall in love with Adrien Brody. After watching "The Darjeeling Limited" for the first time, I have seen everything he has done. To my amazement he has managed to draw sex appeal out of the oddest of characters. His ability to connect makes this average looking man hot. Dang hot.


4-Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner)- The Twilight Saga: New Moon:
I am ashamed... I was not even going to see "New Moon" out of principle. However, my cousins were in town and, being the participator that I am, I went with them to see it. Here is my honest opinion of what I saw:
Twilight spits in the face of art. It is literary and cinematic bile. Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) have zero chemistry, zero acting ability, and zero likability. It isn't exclusively their fault. They had substandard dialogue and development to work with. The bitter truth of the matter is it could have been poorer quality than it actually was and women of all ages would have still flocked to box offices around the country by the millions to see it for the thirteenth time. It breaks my heart to see theatre degraded in this manner.
There was, however, one bright spot in those two wasted hours of my life. Jacob Black. It is not solely for physical reasons that this teenage star is so sexy. He exudes a bashful confidence. His physical strength does not overpower his emotional vulnerability. Based on trust and friendship, his love for Bella is beautifully imperfect. Though he doesn't have much competition for the title, Jacob Black is the most developed and impressively acted character in the "Twilight" series.
All of my arguments above remain true. However, I cannot in good conscience fake the depth of my attraction. What it comes right down to is a killer smile and killer biceps. I am thirty percent feminist, which is just enough to have some pride, but being proud and independent does not mean I am without a pulse. Jacob Black is sexy. I want to eat dessert foods off of his washboard abs. I want to smother his body with Jello while he does crunches just to see what it looks like as it rolls off. He is straight up aesthetically pleasing. Don't misunderstand. I do not have a "Team Jacob" button pined to my sweater vest, but were he legal and sitting in this coffee shop as I write my fifth blog, I am afraid to say I would find myself disregarding self-respect, throwing caution to the wind, and slipping him my number.


3- Christian (Ewan McGreggor)- Moulin Rouge:
The moment Christian opened his mouth to sing the words "The hills are alive with the sound of music" I melted. Is there anything sexier than a talented, sensitive poet? He is naive, sincere, talented, and most of all beautiful. That beauty is what pushes Christian into top 5 material. What is it exactly that makes him beautiful? Could it be his perfect bone structure? His lovely eyes? His suave and dapper sense of style? All of these are just things we see when he is bereaved because the most beautiful part of Christian is his smile. Mmmm that smile, that smile is incredibly charming. Every woman dreams of having a smile that stunning directed at them. We swoon at a great smile. Men, if you are reading this, practice a sincere smile. We can't resist it.






2- Johnny (Patrick Swayze)- Dirty Dancing:
Every female fantasy movie made since 1987 wishes that it was "Dirty Dancing". It was the first and last sexy love story. This coming of age drama is about a young women who falls for a rebellious dance instructor, Johnny (Swayze), while on vacation with her family. Going against what her family always expected of her she finds herself in the sexiest affair off all time.
There is a level of gorgeous that few men attain. I like to call it "The Perfect Storm". There are four points to a "Perfect Storm". 1: Killer Body. 2: A talent rare among men. 3: A problem with authority. 4: A sincere heart. Is Johnny "The Perfect Storm"? Let's review.
1) Yes, the body is easy on the eyes (refer to picture on right), but it is what he does with it that makes him so sexy. It is the way he moves.
2) You wont believe it until you see it. Watch the movie. I have never and probably will never see a man who dances like Patrick Swayze.
3)From the first time he enters the scene harassing the waiters in his leather jacket, to the grand finale of him dancing in the aisle with the audience members, we can tell Johnny is a rebel.
4)Johnny has a history of bad decision making, but throughout the movie we see him stand up for what is right and support the people he loves. He is good, but oh so bad, and that's why we love him.
Women are surprisingly easy to please. Give us a rebel with a leather jacket and an attitude with authority figures and we are set. Throw in a rockin' body and we won't know what hit us. "Perfect Storm"? I think so.


1- Brick (Paul Newman)- Cat On A Hot Tin Roof:
The year: 2004. The place: Timberline High School. I am sitting in my "American Literature" class preparing to watch yet another movie, and thinking to myself, "Shouldn't we be reading in our literature class?". I suppose Mr. Lewis thought the best way to expose teenagers to good literature, when they refuse to read it, is to show them the Hollywood version. Who is going to complain? Write notes, get a good nap and catch up on homework from other classes. I was mentally preparing to enter my R.E.M. cycle when something happened that I never expected. Elizabeth Taylor. Yes, that is right, Elizabeth Taylor, a women, jerked me from my near comatose state to complete cognizance . To date there is no other person who ever lived that I dreamed of being more than I dreamed of being Elizabeth Taylor, and for forty-five seconds I thought that there was no one sexier. Forty-five seconds is how long she is on screen before they introduce Brick (Paul Newman). With Paul Newman was introduced a phenomenon, something completely unique. A form of sex appeal yet to be seen in any other film to this degree. Its a little something called chemistry. Sometimes sexy takes two to work. In this case it definitely works. The sexual tension between Maggie (Taylor) and Brick is so seductive that falling for the wounded Brick is inevitable. He is beautiful, deep feeling, rebellious, talented, and macho. He has it all.
Again, let's not pretend it's something it's not. While I adore the chemistry between Brick and Maggie "The Cat", I have to admit that I am of the opinion that Paul Newman is the best looking man who ever lived. He is pretty, but also masculine. There is no doubt that he is a real man. Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, and Ryan Gossling have nothing on him. They are all just men we look at while we wait for a reincarnated Paul Newman to return to the silver screen. It's almost painful to see someone who is so incredibly beautiful and undeniably talented and understand I will never have the chance, because by sheer fate I was born sixty years too late.