Top 5 Monologues

What is a great monologue? Great monologues are what you think up in the shower, but don't have the guts to say. You know what I'm talking about, the shower confrontation. You get slighted by someone and you are going to give them a talking to. Maybe you are finally going to tell your best friend to start paying for their own lunch, but nothing ever leaves the shower. A great monologue is your life's mission statement. It sounds fabulous in your head, but the problem with monologues is that's the only place they are mind blowing. That's why we love a good monologue. It's what you wish you had said, but someone, who is much wittier than you or I, wrote it before we had the opportunity to use it.


5-V For Vendetta: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villian by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengence; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.


This is pure Dr. Seuss after a night of mixing uppers and downers. It is my childhood on crack cocaine. It is set in the darkest dream I have ever had. It's a lonely London alley way where a masked man has just chased off Natalie Portman's assailants. He is not someone I would want to meet in a dark alley, but his words that follow this act of bravery are those of an eccentric genius. The simplicity of alliteration is hypnotizing, universal, and just plain entertaining. The writer is gifted. No word is out of place. There is reason behind each idea. From start to finish what is intended to be said is said in an intelligent and organized fashion. It's elegant to read and elegant to hear. There is a feeling of poetry as though a great work of art was written, then the movie was built around it. In short this was a phonetically phenomenal, fabulously filmed, fine flick.


4- Marlon Brando, On The Water Front: It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charlie, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money. You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charlie.

Remember what I said earlier about monologues being the things we can't bring ourselves to say? This is the epitome of the "confrontation monologue". When Brando speaks these words he sounds like a real person. It is something that someone might actually say. There is so much feeling behind these words, so much emotion. I can't help but be pulled in because of the honesty in his voice. Not for one second of this monologue is he Marlon Brando. He is Terry. He is an inner city bum. My heart breaks for him. The words do not feel scripted. He is just having a conversation with his brother. I love the imperfections of this monologue and I love the the performance. It is a near perfect monologue. If you don't believe me just think, how many times have you heard the words, "I coulda been a contender."

3-Ewan McGregor, Trainspotting (1996): "Choose life, choose a job, choose a career, choose a family, choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments, choose a starter home, choose your friends. Choose leisure-wear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite and higher purchase and a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you've spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future, choose life. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life, I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons! Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?'

Why is it so good? Anyone who has seen "Train Spotting" more than once can repeat at least one line from this monologue. The words are easily recognized on T-shirts and bumper stickers. The reason it is universally loved, the reason it is so quotable, is because it makes living without responsibility look like the most fun anyone could possibly have. Seeing a young Ewan Mcgegor being chased through the streets by a couple of cops in his oh-so nineties attire while his monologue is playing as a voice over makes me want to jack TVs. The first time around this monologue might seem like nothing special. However, after watching the film from start to finish, the next time you hear the words "Choose life" you may find yourself leaning forward in your chair, hanging on to every word of Renton's (Ewan Mcgregor) enthralling, self-destructive mantra.

2- American Beauty: I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time....for me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street...Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie...and Janie. And... Carolyn. I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...You will someday.

I struggled to put my feelings into words for this monologue. I didn't know where to start, but I remembered a conversation I had with my oldest sister a couple weeks ago. Instead of going off on my usual rant I just want tell write about it.
Summer and I were discussing that fact that we had never argued about anything in all of my 22 years of life. We dove into politics, art, ideas, anything that might spark some sort of altercation. There were differences of opinion. I am slightly liberal, she is more conservative. I tend to be a follower of dark cult classics while she enjoys foreign films about food. However, there was no knock down, drag-out, honest-to-goodness argument. Why? It is not only because she is my sister and I love her. The deeper reason is because we have a mutual love of life. We as human beings have the ability to create beautiful art, to enjoy culture, and to have unique thoughts and ideas. But what is the point if we can't share them freely? I want to hear what introspections my sister has and I want her to hear mine. I want to show her things that I love and I want to experience what she loves. I want to hear, see, feel and taste all of the beauty in the world and I want to do it unbridled by anger or fear. I want to learn french, play the banjo, see something that has no explanation, hear music I've never heard before, and acknowledge views that aren't my own. Most of all, I want to see life from another perspective and recognize that it is beautiful. I desire nothing more than to have a life free from anger, hate, and fear. I desire completely peaceful happiness. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by my desires that "my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain". The reason I love this monologue is because every time I hear it I am touched by another's love of life.

1-Samuel L Jackson, Pulp Fiction (1994): The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

How do I know that this is an exceptional monologue? It makes me want to purchase a gun every time I see it. Any movie that makes me want to buy a weapon gets a spot on my list of classics. The fact that Quinton Tarantino could do it with one passage of scripture, that he didn't even write, is one of many reasons "Pulp Fiction" landed the number 1 spot. Start to finish this was a perfectly performed monologue. (It was perfectly written as well but I am not sure who gets credit for the bible). Take the fire and brimstone out of a Baptist Minister, and channel it into a man who is a professional thug. What do you get? A classic monologue. Samuel L. Jackson starts out soft and slow as though he is teaching a child something very important. As he progresses to the middle of the scripture there is the realization he is not teaching, he is scolding. By the end he crescendos into outright punishment. Quinton keeps the camera on him the entire time. Adjusting only to show a relaxed Vincent (John Travolta) casually pull out his chromed .45 Auto Ordnance 1911A1 with pearl grips and wait for Jules to finish. Also, take into consideration the dialogue directly before the monologue; Jules asking Brad (whom the monologue is directed towards) if he broke his concentration after casually shooting Brad's friend in the head. That is old school Tarantino all the way. Anything else would have been disappointing. I am getting PUMPED just writing about it. This monologue is epic, don't question it, just go out and watch it for yourself. I have just one question... what is in the briefcase?



Great monolgues that didn't quite make the cut (not in any particular order):

Fight Club-Brad Pitt- The Rules of Fight Club

A League of Their Own-Tom Hanks- There is No Crying in Baseball

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof- Elizabeth Taylor- I Feel Like a Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

To Kill A Mocking Bird- Gregory Peck- Someone Else's Shoes

To Kill A Mocking Bird- Gergory Peck- Opening Arguement

Brave Heart-Mel Gibson- (you know exactly which one I'm talking about)

Devils Advocate- Al Pacino- He's An Absintee Land Lord

Tropic Thunder- Tom Cruise- I Will F*** You Up

Silence of the Lambs- Anthony Hopkins- The Boys Found You

Casa Blanca- Humphrey Bogart- I'm No Good At Being Noble

Schindler's List- Liam Neeson- Why Did I Keep the Car?

High Fidelity- John Cusack- Top 5 Break Ups



Feel free to post your input, anything I missed?